The Vulnerable Asker

Emotional vulnerability. Many of us have been conditioned to avoid it at all costs. We’re supposed to have our stuff together. If not, we're supposed to keep it to ourselves. This seems especially true at work.

But as humans, at work or otherwise, we're naturally drawn to a sense of vulnerability in others. Why? Those who are comfortable sharing vulnerability are typically people who acknowledge they're not perfect, who show courage, they accept others and themselves, and show compassion. These are all qualities most of us like in a person. They draw us to others and lead to meaningful connections.

So, healthy vulnerability is most certainly a thing. Desirable really. The nonprofit asker who learns how to share it is a successful asker.

What does it mean to share emotional vulnerability? It simply means you've  made a choice to share your emotions and desires with others. That you've found a way of communicating with others in a way that let's them in, allows them to connect with you in a more meaningful, authentic way. It does not mean unloading your emotional baggage onto an unsuspecting fundraising prospect or donor.

When you don't shy away from vulnerability, you're allowing the humanity in you to connect with the humanity in your prospect. This is good for an asker. It's in vulnerable moments no matter how brief when meaningful connection happens.

Here's a few ways to start sharing a bit more vulnerability in your work. But before we get to them it's important to understand vulnerability should not be used as a tactic to manipulate others to get what you want.

1. Look someone in the eyes and smile when your instinct is to look down.
2. Say hello to someone instead of passing by without a word.
3. Ask a question. "How are you?" is a perfectly acceptable start.
4. Speak up, share your thoughts in a meeting when you would normally not.
5. Show more empathy than less.
6. Start to release the most tightly held parts of your personal narrative, your story. You know that chapter of your story you've kept hidden...yeah...share parts of that. This may be the story of what led you to your current organization. Or why you chose to fundraise for your organization's mission. Or how your organization's mission has impacted you personally.
7. Start simple and build to actions that may feel a bit more risky when you feel ready.

Sharing a healthy level of emotional vulnerability with your prospects allows your (and their) authentic self to shine through, let's others see your sense of truth, understand your values, intentions, and objectives. We suddenly are able to connect in ways we didn't know were possible. We see we're all just trying to make the most of it and have, more often than not, the same challenges, hurdles, insecurities, and hang-ups. This is meaningful connection.

When you find a way to share just a wee bit of vulnerable energy with your prospect, it will deepen the connection between the two of you. Give it a try.