I've Been Wrong

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I've been completely wrong.

The phrase "fear of the ask", which I use often but have come to understand, is misleading at best and incorrect at worst. In your work as a nonprofit fundraiser, your fear doesn't come from the actual ask. The ask is the easy part. It's not difficult to say the words, "I'm asking you to be an initial investor in a project/organization/initiative that is going to help members of our community thrive."

Your fear comes from mental barriers that often surround the ask. Fear of hearing no. Fear of rejection. Fear of vulnerability. Fear of sounding silly. Fear of connecting meaningfully. Fear of not knowing what to say or the answer to a question. Fear of public speaking. Fear of success that you will have to live up to in the future. Do any of these sound familiar?

Here are six tips to help you overcome the actual fears surrounding your asks.

1. Prepare
   Have a clear understanding of your organization's mission and the impact of donor contributions. Write out your organization's mission statement. Create a bullet pointed list detailing the impact of charitable contributions. Also, create a script or outline for your prospect and donor visits. Include the key points you want to highlight. Practice delivering your ask script in front of a mirror, film your ask and watch it back, or rehearse it with a colleague.
2. Build Relationships
   Get to know your donors, their interests and why they support your cause. Building a relationship with them can make the ask feel more natural. Schedule coffee or lunch visits with potential donors to get to know them better. Ask about their interests, hobbies and why they support your cause. Keep notes on these conversations to reference in the future.
3. Be Confident
   Remember you are asking for support for a worthy cause and the donor is likely to be happy to help. Repeat positive affirmations to yourself before prospect visits, such as "I am confident in my ability to make this ask" or "I am asking for support for a worthy cause" or "I'm brining my best self to this visit for the good of all."
4. Show Gratitude
   Regardless of the outcome, always show appreciation and thank donors for their time and consideration. Write out your unique way of saying thank you. Practice expressing appreciation and gratitude as often as you can to whoever you can for whatever you can.
5. Focus on Impact
   When making the ask, focus on the impact the prospect's support will have, rather than on the dollar amount. Create a visual representation - chart, graph, or infographic - of the impact. Use this during visits to help prospects see the difference they can make.
6. Use Storytelling
   Tell real stories about how your organization is making a difference in the lives of those it serves. Stories can create a deeper connection with the donor. Write out these stories. Become the expert of these stories.

Each of these tips takes the focus off of you and places it squarely on your prospect where it should be at all times. When your attention is focused entirely on your prospect there is no room for fear.

So, I admit it. I was wrong about fear of the ask. The phrase is too general and doesn't consider the actual source of the fear.

Once you know specifically where your fear is coming from, you can take steps to address it. You're not afraid of the ask. The actual ask is easy. What you want is more yeses with less stresses. And that comes with practice.