50

The title kind of says it all. This Saturday, December 11th I turn fifty. So, I'm not an age-is-just-a-number person, but I really want to be. One thing that helps me more fully embrace this idea is remembering the person I was ten, twenty, thirty years ago and thinking about the person I am now. You know what? I’ve picked up a few choice bits of wisdom along the way. Here are 11 of them.

1. In my late twenties/early thirties I would say, "You know what? If I haven't done it by the time I'm fifty, it probably doesn't need to happen.” Younger me thought this was hilarious. The folks around me at the time would laugh and then we'd move on with whatever we were doing or talking about. As I slid toward my forties, you guessed it, this phrase unceremoniously exited my vernacular. But here's the thing, that thought stayed with me. I said it so often that it had become a truth...a reality...it manifested itself in my life. I spent much of my forties working myself out of that mind trap I set for myself. Moral of the story: Be careful how you speak to your present self. Your future self will thank you.
2. Staying present in the moment with ourselves and with others is a choice we make or don’t make. When we choose to stay present in the moment we are acting with complete consideration. This is the very least we can do to make everyone's day a bit more fulfilling, enjoyable.
3. Becoming an actor was the best decision I ever made. To me being an actor means creating meaningful connections via truth, authenticity, empathy, and understanding. My work as an actor has taught me how, when meeting someone new or walking into a room full of folks I may not know well, to connect with them quickly, feel the energy they are bringing to the exchange, and adjust to their tempo-rhythm. All of which makes creating meaningful connections with others much easier.
4. Write down everything you can. That idea you thought would never go anywhere will come back around and may just be the thing that catapults you into your next chapter.
5. If you’re not careful, you can go from thinking, "I'm not old enough to do that" to "I should've already done that, had that, or accomplished that" before you know it. You're never too old or too young to try something new - start that business, launch that never-before-seen product, or share that new idea. The time is now.
6. I define success for me. I define failure for me. Me. I do that. The only way someone else can do that is if you give them permission. The only thing letting others define my success or failure got me was years and years of waiting around.
7. If you're always trying to prove yourself, there's little room to enjoy yourself. Of course, when you start something new there's always a certain amount of time devoted to proving yourself, but remaining in this mindset can stop growth in its tracks. Know when you know and enjoy the process.
8. To what end do you do the things you do? The big things in life we commit to are more often and better accomplished when we begin with the end in mind while remaining open to adjusting or changing the end goal as our experience broadens our perspective.
9. Progress is so often imperceptible. Successfully accomplishing a goal will take you twice as long as you think. Don't fight it, adjust. Cut the goal in half or extend the length of time you think you’ll need to reach it. Then choose to be happy with your progress and the process.
10. "If I can do it, anyone can do it." This is a toxic statement that takes your unique gifts for granted. It becomes a negative energy that hangs over everything you do. There’s a difference between being humble or appreciative and devaluing your skills, gifts, and talents.
11. The ONLY two things we are in control of are our reactions to the incoming and our intentions for the outgoing. That’s it and that’s plenty.

As I close the chapter on one decade and start writing a shiny brand new one while trying to grow into a person who genuinely views my age as just a number, I understand that with acknowledgement comes acceptance, with acceptance comes an embrace of my experience, embracing my experience increases my sense of personal power, settling into my personal power leads to peace, and peace leads to calm. So, there you go. My fifties will be peaceful and calm. That sounds like a good idea. Bring it.